Gone are those quiet, cuddly moments and the strange love that is invoked by the sound of an small child's helpless cry...
These days I am content to make it through the morning without a major meltdown (from either me or my mini-me) and ecstatic to make it through the entire day with both my children intact and all the necessities covered.
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| At least I can say I have never done this! |
If you are on the outside looking in then I suppose you would call us a 'normal' family... I am like any regular mother, I work hard to control the crazy in our household and make ends meet. I start each morning with Mary Poppins-like intentions, but unfortunately I usually end up more like Cruella Deville.
Lets just say I am far-cry from being named mother of the year. Hell, I'll be honest, there is no chance I am ever going to end up in the running. I am not "highly organized" as my resume claims and patience is a virtue that skipped me completely.
I have no set routine in my household, aside from the fact that we eat dinner at some point every night, and bedtime happens when I have had enough of the chaos, depending on the day of week and level of frustration involved that is usually sometime 8-9:30.
As I said in the about section, My son C spends 95% of his time on the computer, and I can't say I really care. I know that there are probably more productive things he could be doing with his time, but it makes him happy and he is pretty smart. He has never been in serious trouble and there are far worse things he could be doing as far as I am concerned. In the Spring, Summer and Fall this computer usage is reduced and more time is spent outdoors; but in the winter it's probably what other parents might consider inappropriate. In fact, I'm sure it is an inappropriate amount of time, but who cares honestly? I don't have the fight in me most of the time anyway and so I just let it be and take comfort in the fat that I know where he is and what he is doing... (Keep in mind I have full access to all his accounts and I randomly drop-in to see what he is up to while online gaming, so I am not completely neglectful.)
Winter is actually the worst time of year for us because I am absolutely miserable, like psycho-maniac miserable, kill em' all miserable, grumpy bear miserable, string up in the bathroom after downing a bottle of Vicodin kind of miserable...you get the picture. I was just not meant to live in Canada... In fact, I am pretty sure someone made a gigantic mistake when they decided to plant me here in Ontario. I spend the winter months (a.k.a. November to April) hibernating inside as much as I possibly can; only venturing outdoors when absolutely necessary and even then I am bundled-up like an Eskimo in the ice age. I completely hate cold weather, I am far too skinny for it and it rips through my body like bad shellfish at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I honestly believe I was meant to live in a warm weather environment, like Hawaii, Florida, Cuba or even Africa... Somewhere with regular sunshine and white sand beaches would suit me best. I have forwarded this complaint to every available outlet, a correction has yet to be made.
My kids on the other hand enjoy the snowy weather and constantly try convince me that tobogganing is a good idea. Every once in awhile I am naive enough to fall for their antics, but within 10 minutes I am begging them to "please come down the damn hill so we can go home... I'll make hot chocolate... with marshmallows! I swear. Hell, I'll pay them 10 dollars if they just get the hell off the hill and in the friggin' house right this minute!" This eventually leads to excessive screaming and foot stomping (on my part) before I finally run home with tears frozen to my cheeks.
Yeah... Winter is not really my thing!
There are a few things that you should probably know if you are going to follow along on this crazy journey, many of these things are listed on the About page, so head on over there and check that out if you haven't already... but there are a few other basics I should probably fill you in on:
- I write the exact same way I talk. This blog is not meant to be grammatically correct, or politically correct for that matter. Which leads me to the next point...
- I am probably going to offend some of you at some point. For this I am sorry and I apologize in advance, okay I am not sorry per se, but I'll apologize in advance anyway. Sometimes I think I am missing that priceless filter that lies between the mouth and the brain. I say these crazy things that are often as surprising to me when they come out of my mouth as they will be to you. I usually mean no offense and so if something bothers you try to suck it up...
- I love my kids. I am not just saying that to convince myself, but to reassure you as well. There will be times that you question the honesty of this statement, but see the point above (I can not lie, trust me I probably should sometimes). I truly do adore my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but if I didn't find the humor in all this insanity I would probably pack up my crap and head for the hills.
That about sums it up and starts off this blog on what you probably consider a strange note. Truthfully, my kids are amazing and we have a lot of fun together. We truly laugh a great deal and while we fight sometimes, we are close and open with one another. We make the best of what we've got at this point in our lives and I try my best to make my kids lives as easy as possible (and hide the insanity from them as much as I can). There are some great stories to share, as well as lessons I have learned. There are thoughts and ideas that have made my life easier, and some that have made it more difficult... If nothing else I can at least guarantee that this blog will entertain you and make you realize that it really is funny when it is happening to someone else.
If you are still reading at this point then I am excited to share with you in the future. (because you are obviously as nuts as I am) So, go ahead and bookmark this site, or subscribe to the updates and remember the comments section is always open to your thoughts so feel free to share.
Until Next Time...
MLHM
